Inuyasha: The Columnist
by Hanyou blood
Summary: Inuyasha gets letters from ppl, from other anime shows, and his own as well...and maybe some from you! He tries to cuss you out, or at least give you some advice.
1. Letter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any people off of Inuyasha or any other show.  
  
A/n: Ok here is the first letter, now tell me if you like it or not. And I wanna know if you know who this is as well.  
  
Dear InuYasha,  
  
I have just recently broke my Zanbatou, and I have been searching for a new one, but can't find one any were. Please tell me what to do!  
  
From,  
  
browsin' 4 blades  
  
Answer to letter:  
  
Dear, browsin' 4 blades  
  
Have you checked the local super-market? I'm almost positive that they would have something like that! If not, why don't you make one? Here, I'll even give you a Twig to use fir the handle! Got it? Now NEVER send me anything again!!!!. jeez, u people and your enormous swords. Who the hell started THAT trend?  
  
Inuyasha.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ok, these are going to be short. So I'll try to post one everyday. Maybe two. Ja Ne 


	2. Letters 2 til 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any people off of Inuyasha or any other show.  
  
A/N: ARG! I'm sorry that I didn't update yesterday! I was grounded from the computer right before I was going on! All I did was slap my brother lightly upside the head and my mother just happens to see..Its not like he's 4 years old or anything!! He's only a year younger than me! Well a year and 4 months. But to say sorry, I'm giving you 3 letters today! And the 1st letter WAS from Sanoske from Rurouni Kenshin So read on!  
  
~~~~  
  
Dear Inu-Yasha,  
  
I have this third eye that I picked up on the black market, and now its starting to need adjustments to see. I went to my local optometrist to see what was wrong, and they told me that I needed glasses for it. The only problem is, I cant find any glasses that would work. Got any ideas?  
  
From,  
  
Eye issues  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear Eye Issues,  
  
Have you tried not using it? Selling it and not telling others about the defects? You could make quite the mini fortune if you said no refunds. Though I don't think that you could find glasses like that. Go check in your 'Black Market' maybe there when you get your glasses maybe you could find someone who's name is something like 'eye glasses' I'm sure that you would get along quite fine. Oh and why are people sending me this stuff?  
  
Inuyasha  
  
ps. or you could just get those things called contacts!  
  
Dear Inuyasha,  
  
Last week I went on a rampage in my Gundam. (In one of my rare angry moments.) While on my rampage I ran over a kitten, and killed it. The kittens' owner is just a little girl and started to cry. What should I do? I have a guilty conscience. Please Help.  
  
From,  
  
Kind 2 kitties  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear..'kinda 2 dumb',  
  
It was a little kitten. It's a kid, they'll get over it. It's a pet, a little weak living organism. I'm sure that in that Gundam of yours you've killed more than a kitten. Why with all that I've heard, the colonies have killed over hundreds of people! So what's the problem? And if you still have guilty conscience after that then get her a puppy! At least the Dogs have more dignity than to lay around all day and purr!  
  
Inuyasha  
  
Ps: DOGS RULE!!!  
  
Dear Inuyasha,  
  
Hi, my girlfriend is a monster who ate my soul, and on account of that, turned me into an immortal wuu. Can you help me?  
  
From,  
  
Wuu.  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear Wuu,  
  
I would kill to be immortal, well at least a full blooded demon at least. Wait! I DO kill! And as for your soul eating girlfriend monster, you should really get her to go on a diet. I've heard some nasty rumors about what eating souls can do to a person. And as for me helping you.. I think that you should look into a job at the circus. At least if you caught on fire they wouldn't have worry, and you could keep a job. Something that I'm not too good at.  
  
Inuyasha  
  
~~~~  
  
Well that was it! Ok Can you guess the 3 people? Well, I am now excepting YOUR letters. You can Wright them in and say what's on your mind. Just remember. Inuyasha hates letters. And he might TRY to give you a bashing on them. Or in some rare cases.might actually help! And I WILL get Kagome (well not HER but you know what I mean) to get him to go nice. Or if you WANT a bashing all you have to do is say so! Ok Now have a great weekend..or what's LEFT anyway.. 


	3. letter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any people off of Inuyasha or any other show.  
  
A/N: ok the first one was Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, the second was Quatre from Gundam Wing, and the last one was Yakamo (if I spelt that right) from 3 By 3 Eyes. Ok now can you figure this one out?  
  
Dear Inuyasha,  
  
I had been going steady w/ my b/f 4 almost 4 months, when i had 2 return 2 my own world to finish the school year. I was only away a month or so, and when i returned to his world it was like nothing had changed. Until --- in the middle of the final battle, he had to ask my name! I don't even think he EVER knew it!!! Help me! Is this a NORMAL guy thing? Should i be worried??  
  
Girl w/ an Amnesmatic Boyfriend  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear Girl with a weird b/f,  
  
Why is it that all girls get wound up when us guys don't use their names or cant remember it?! Is it just a medical defect in the female counterpart?! And NO it is NOT a guy thing! Go to a psychiatrist! Even they will tell you the same thing!!! Oh and by the way, All I can say is STOP SENDING ME THESE!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha  
  
~~~~  
  
Ok that was it, tomorrow you will be getting 2! All you have to do is ask for 2 that you want to hear from! Other then the ones that have already been posted. And you can send in your own letter and inuyasha will be sure to repond! 


	4. letters 6 & 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any people off of Inuyasha or any other show.  
  
A/N: Ok here are 2! There you go! And since no one submitted a review I', not going to tell you the last person.  
  
Dear Inuyasha,  
  
My friend and I live in the same house, and when I came home one night I got mad.. and I shredded the couch..with an object that I want to remain an unknown object. My room mate hasn't noticed yet but I need help. What should I do?  
  
Night-Shredder  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear Night-shredded,  
  
What did it ever do to you, Look at you funny?! I mean I can live with the future items, they're much more comfterable than a tree but come on! Why in the 7 Hells would you want to shred a couch?! Anyway I would say that you're a phyco-pathic moron. Now tell everyone that you see.. NOT TO SEND ME ANYTHING!!!  
  
Inuyasha  
  
PS: Oh and you would probably want to buy a new couch..  
  
dear inu yasha: i'm an android. but, I REALLY wanna become human! i have a crush on a chic who's human, & I think she's afraid 2 get close 2 me b/c of what i am! do u know how I can turn human? kikaider  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear Kikaider,  
  
A HUMAN?! ARE YOU NUTS?! You are, I know it! You want to become a Youkai! Not a human. You want to become anything, BUT a human! Ok, go get a lamp, rub it and see if a genie comes out! If it does then go and make a wish! Or 2 even! If it works then leave me alone, if it doesn't work then STILL leave me alone!  
  
Inuyasha 


	5. letter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any people off of Inuyasha or any other show.  
  
Dear Inuyasha,  
  
Hi, I think that I have a problem with a girl friend I have. She helps me out in rebuilding my Gundam that I have, in a competition that I entered, but she usually helps out the other competitors. Got any advice?  
  
From,  
  
Golden Gundam  
  
Answer:  
  
Dear Golden Gundam,  
  
You THINK that you have a problem? Well that all by its self could be one! Well with her helping out the enemy.that is defiantly a problem. All I can offer to you as advice is to get rid of her! Throw her out! Or at least tell her to stop helping the enemy. And if you find out that she's STILL helping them out.well kill her I say! Nothing better than another person who has betrayed you dead.Though the person that betrayed me WAS dead and then came back to life using my shard detectors soul.GOD ITS SO FRUSTRAITING!!! How in the world am I suppose to get the shards together once again and make a wish if I keep getting interrupted by my old dead girlfriend?! Anyway, stop sending, me your problems and get a life!  
  
Inuyasha 


End file.
